2022 A Year at the Movies (Best and Worst)

A friend mentioned recently that it had been a while since a film left a whole audience in awe. We discussed The Force Awakes. And I remember suggesting Top Gun: Maverick though I was not exactly sure of the audience reaction since, despite the fact that I attend the cinema once a week (at least 52 times a year anyhow), I somehow ended up catching that one at home. 

 There's an art theater near me called The Loft. My wife and I have usual seats at the front balcony. When a film really has me in awe, I lean closer to the screen and hold onto the railing with both hands. I watched a couple hundred 2022 releases and saw some fantastical things. Here are a few: Alex Cox's appearance in Mad God, the Yiddish references in Blood Relatives, Dan Hedaya's great, gloomy work in Slapface, Gordy the Chimp from Nope and the moment in Exorcist Vengeance when the Father (Robert Bronzi) gives a  dying woman her last rites then pulls out his gun and chases after her killer. Below is my list of all the films I saw in a theater, the ten 2022 films that left me most in awe and (for fun) the ten 2022 films I cannot help but wish had never been made.

January Films Seen in a Theater

The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021), The 355, Lilies of the Field (1965), Casablanca (1942), Rifkin's Festival (2021)

The 355 I caught in DBOX (the technology where the seats move around to fit the action happening on screen). DBOX is great fun. And this was the best DBOX of the four I attended this year so points for that at least. The worst DBOX was The Invitation incidentally and the most disappointing was Jackass 4Ever. I was expecting big things out of that one.

Last year, I rented a theater to watch Rifkin's Festival with a group of friends. I have seen all of Allen's films in a theater since I was a young man. This year, it got a spur-of-the-moment  US release. My wife surprised me with tickets near my birthday. The theater was two hours away. She bought us lunch and got me a shave at a nearby barber shop. It was the best day. And RF is a pretty great movie. Mort Rifkin is a retired film critic going through a late life crisis at a film festival. And every film lover can feel the scene when he is mocked for recommending Japanese art films to a group of normies. All film obsessives are Mort Rifkin to some degree. My wife really enjoyed the performance by Louis Garrell as the man who has designs on Mort's wife. I did too even if he is playing the same character Josh Brolin played in Melinda and Melinda. I am going to count it as a 2022 release since it did hit theaters here in January (Edit here in 2024, this ranks at number one on my list after multiple rewatches). 



The month did have its pluses and minuses. The worst thing to happen was the death of Dwayne Hickman.




As a child, I really related to Dobie Gillis. He was the teen role model, him and Maynard (played by Bob Denver). It's not like I was ever going to relate to Luke Perry. Anyway, great television star, great writer, a great painter as well.

Two of the worst films of the year (and oddly one of the best) were released this month.


Warhunt I rented because it features Mickey Rourke. I had read in Variety that it was filmed at the start of COVID under heavy restrictions, and I believe that. Rourke's part seems zoomed in. The film is dull and hard to follow. It ranks third on my worst list.

One of the riskier things a horror film can do is have a character with prior trauma and use that trauma as a plot device that helps him/her overcome a current obstacle. And when this type of horror film doesn't work, if the two aspects (the past trauma or the current threat) are ill-fitting, one of them can end up seeming trite.  My hot take is Netflix's Texas Chainsaw Massacre, starring my preferred modern scream queen Elsie Fisher, did a very good job of telling this kind of story. I liked it better than any of the current Halloween trilogy, better story, better kills and I was much more invested in Olwen Fouere's Sally than Curtis' Laurie. But that’s merely a digression since neither Chainsaw or Halloween Ends are making any part of any list. 

                                     

The Requin ranks as second on my worst of list. I was underwhelmed by Alicia Silverstone. This film relates a shark attack story to a loss of a child, stillborn from a home birth story, and I found the connections distasteful. It also has zero originality or pacing. My wife and I like watching shark films together. They are rarely successful films. In fact, another shark film also about overcoming past trauma is on this worst list, and I am going to talk about it now even though it was released in July.



The Reef: Stalked compares surviving relationship abuse to surviving a shark attack. This one ranks seventh on my worst of list. It is inert (that is death for a shark film) and does not have the level of acting talent necessary to convey the lead's trauma. 




February Films Seen in a Theater

Breathless (1960), Jackass 4Ever, Lady Sings the Blues (1972), Who We Are a Chronicle of Racism in America

I like to catch TCM On The Big Screen showings. There was Casablanca in January and Lady Sings the Blues this month. I just saw the 2023 TCM schedule and am having a tough time getting excited about it.

 One screening that was exciting was Breathless. Breathless was a reissue to celebrate a new 4K I believe. It was not a memorial screening as Godard did not die until September. Regardless, his loss has been huge. He was the easy answer for best living director. And he announced two films he wanted to make that now no longer have a chance at being made. I was lucky to catch Weekend in July. Also before his death, Adieu Godard, a strange production from India was released. It involved an old porn addict who accidentally rents a Godard film one night and becomes even more obsessed with his work than the adult films. It has no sense of Godard in it. I mean they could have changed the obsession to Jakubisko and nothing would be lost, but still I am glad someone made it. Breathless was brought back in October to celebrate the life of Godard. And I was lucky enough to catch that screening too. 

March Films Seen in a Theater

Nominated Animated Short Films, The Lost City, The Cursed, Return to Horror High (1987), Umma

I have attended the Oscar Nominated animated shorts program for several years. I used to go with my best friend. The animated shorts are usually the most creative of the shorts program and this year was no exception. The great thing was before the film started, the staff came out to let families know that only one of these films is family friendly. The first film screened was Robin Robin. And there was a mass exodus of children after that.  Ultimately, the worst nominee won and Bestia was robbed.

Another great film that deserved more recognition was The CursedThere are scenes in the film that will stay with me forever. The man made into a scarecrow is one. The maid hiding her wounds while on the job is another. It ranks eighth on my best of list. It is a werewolf film that offers fun gore effects, dynamic chemistry between Boyd Holbrook and Kelly Reilly as well as a great pro-adoption message. Even the expository scenes in The Cursed are better than they need to be. My wife and I caught The Cursed at an 11 pm screening because The Batman was too crowded. We made the right choice. And the only other attendees were a young couple snuggling under a blanket (the theater had just started selling blankets). At least I think they were just snuggling.



April Films Seen in Theaters

The Mulligan, They Live (1988), Green Ghost and the Master of Stone, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)


The Ceres California Drive In was my childhood. It was full of JCVD films, Jeff Speakman films,Warlock sequels. And I swear they had the best chili in town. Since COVID, there has been a few pop up drive ins in Arizona. But only one welcomed dogs. So my wife and I decided to take the dog to the movies. The only one playing on our night off was the second Indy. My wife and dog fell asleep within an hour. The sound and the snack stand kind of sucked. But I am glad we tried especially after that particular drive in closed just a few weeks later. I wish we could have all caught a horror there instead.

Released in April, We're All Going to the World's Fair is the best horror film in several years. And director Jane Schoenbrun is one to watch out for. She created something very DIY and very personal about internet rabbit holes, about creepy pasta, about modern times where young people cannot talk to others. This is Gummo for doom scrollers. Teen Casey (played by Anna Cobb) tries an internet challenge that is rumored to cause potentially dark side effects. On her Youtube channel, she reports about her life since trying the challenge (a lack of sleep, a violent outburst) and is eventually contacted by a middle aged man JLB (Michael Rogers who deserves an Oscar). JLB is very concerned with her and wants to help. Or he is a creep and wants an unnatural relationship. it is hard to tell if JLB is scarier as an avatar or as the younger Pete Postlewaite lookalike the audience is shown midway through. The ending has several potential meanings. I would like to see an update on what becomes of Casey one day. We're All Going to the World's Fair ranks number three on my best of list. It is currently on HBO.



May Films Seen in Theaters

Inland Empire (2006), Abba the Movie (1977), Samurai Cop (1991) Petite Maman



Dark Night of the Scarecrow 2 was a terrible cheap and poorly put together sequel by a director who seems very nice and said he was doing this for the fans. But it is a weak followup to a pretty fair television film it ranks sixth on my worst of the year list. 

On a positive note, I got to admit Abba the Movie was the most fun I had in a theater this year. This one was great because it was 70 percent fantastic music, 20 Agnetha's butt and 10 percent plot. The theater was nearly full when I got there; a care home full of developmentally disabled adults picked Abba as their Sunday matinee movie. They were a great and respectful crowd. Let me explain what I meant by 20 percent Agnetha's butt. The fact that she has a nice rear is mentioned by reporters at press conferences. It is claimed she won an award for her butt. And her butt in tight, white pants is the focus of good amount of concert footage. When the film started, I took note of this and thought, well, her butt is okay I guess. But the more it was brought up and the more I thought about it, she had a splendid butt. And that is the power of movies right there. 

June Films Seen in Theaters

Morbius, Pink Flamingos (1972), Mad God, The Boogens (1981), Elvis (twice), GI Joe The Animated Movie (1987)

June was a loaded month in terms of my list (three worst of films and one best of film) so I will just say a few words about the screenings I attended. I loved seeing Anne Marie Martin on the big screen in The Boogens. I was also thrilled my wife seemed to enjoy the GI Joe movie and Pink Flamingos I will always make an effort to see anytime it plays in a theater. I also caught John Waters one man show. It was made up of all new material, and it was a marvel. Now onto things that made the lists. I will start with the least hot take.


Tow ranks as number eight on my worst of the year list. Tubi made a number of originals in 2022. I saw half a dozen. Sharkside of the Moon was the best of their product. This was the worst simply because it is 88 percent flashback and flashback within flashback. It is hard to follow.

Hustle ranks tenth on my worst of the year list. It is completely by the numbers and wastes so much talent. There are so many films that try for great 70's film vibes but are not good films in themselves. This and Emily the Criminal have that distinction.



Good Luck to You, Leo Grande 
ranks forth on my worst of list. I love the film's view on the importance of (self) pleasure, but I found Daryl McCormack to be a charisma vacuum. I was much more impressed by the female seeking pleasure scene in Christmas Bloody Christmas. Leo is about a stern woman who has not experienced sexual pleasure before, so she hires a sex worker to better understand that part of her life. The big problem of the film is Emma Thompson as Nancy Stokes; it is a part she wrote for herself. She is a mean former educator that probably caused a lot of harm with her judgmental attitudes. When she does not get everything she wants, she stalks the sex worker, poor Mr. Leo Grande. She is a horrid character, even more objectionable than the lead of Dashcam (at least that lady can spin amusing raps). I hated being in Nancy's company.

There was hardly better company than the king of rock and roll. I saw Elvis with a group of fans. We shared tears and a standing ovation at the end. There are so many memorable scenes. The back and forth about the 68 comeback special, that long sequence could be taught in film school. The film is completely fair with the king's reliance on influences, his gullible nature and his intense sexual powers, contrasted nicely against Hank Snow (and Col Parker for that matter). This film ranks fifth on my best of list. And Austin better win the best actor awards.



July Films Seen in Theaters

Uncle Sam (1996), Both Sides of the Blade, Lightyear, Mrs Harris Goes to Paris, Nope, Weekend (1967)

  Nothing beats that long tracking shot through traffic in Godard's film. I saw Weekend at my favorite theater in town, the Screening Room. It is a one screen 92 seat theater that plays Edward G Robinson films on Thursday nights. I work almost every day they show a film. I took the day off for Weekend. I guess I like this theater because it has never been updated and reminds me of theaters I went to when I was a kid. The day off was a perfect day. A Godard/Duras book I ordered some time ago showed up in the mail hours before the film. I got a good haircut. The lyft drivers came early. The new eatery I tried was delicious. 

August Films Seen in Theaters

Clue (1985), The Greasy Strangler (2016), The Clowns (1971), The Invitation

Who doesn't love Clue? The Greasy Strangler, we went with some friends. It is a newer cult classic. The Clowns was showing to honor the 50th anniversary of Loft Cinema. It was, in fact, the first film that played there all those years back. Not much else to say about August except the worst film of the year was released in August.

Me Time is another unfunny, poorly scripted Kevin Hart vehicle about a guy reconnecting with an old friend. It has mistaken identity and stale bit after stale bit, yet nothing actually happens. He had better chemistry with Woody Harrelson in The Man From Toronto. Hart and Mark Wahlberg are no Wahlberg and Ferrell. 



Hart is one of those obsessive PTA parents. He is happily married but a member of the school staff played by Michelle DeShon has a crush on him, despite being gorgeous. There is a scene where after a long, contrived day of adventures with Wahlberg, Hart thinks he is alone by his front door. And he lets out a stream of farts. Turns out DeShon was sitting on a nearby couch. She was going to confess her interest in him earlier in the film but has come to realize he is happily married. Once DeShon is seen, Hart apologizes to her and she is embarrassed and leaves out the front door with Hart saying she should probably wait a few moments for the smell to calm down. But she just walks into the smell and out the front door. This film is a stream of farts.

September Films Seen in Theaters

Altamont Now (2008), Underground Shorts Program, Barbarian, The Blob (1958), Clerks III

The Blob is so much fun, and I like its anti-Rebel-without-a-Cause vibe. It seems to be saying look how much teens can get done if they are believed. The most lamentable movie I saw in theaters may have been Clerks III. Dante has always been a minor JOB character but he did not deserve the fate that befalls him, and that fate is unearned as drama . Movies like Christmas Story Christmas and Maverick were successful at the long time gone sequel vibe. Hell even Eraser Reborn was better than Clerks III, but it was not bad enough to make a worst of list. One film that was bad enough actually played a local festival after turning up on Netflix.


What We Leave Behind ranks ninth on my worst of list. It is a film shot by a granddaughter about an old man who travels from Mexico to Texas and wants to build houses for his children. He is a hard working man who soon grows too old to travel. And all that is left is to watch him die. This felt like a snuff film; it was impossible to enjoy, and I got nothing of value from it in terms of immigration travel or aging.

I watched a number of shorts this year. One was by a filmmaker named Chris Peters. He showed a number of Godard images to an AI program and fed some Godard lines into another program and came out with a short. He added a few transitions to bring it to a length of eight minutes. This Desolate Shore is the film. And it hit me hard. I viewed it shortly after Godard died. One of my favorite JLG films is Made in USA. That is the film that introduced me to Marianne Faithfull. This Desolate Shore ends on some grainy images of Faithfull that managed to bring me near tears. It is the tenth most impressive film of this year.


October Films Seen in Theaters

Terrifier II, Slumber Party Massacre II (1987) Scarborough, EO, Breathless (1960), Vampyr (1932), Prey for the Devil

It is always nice to attend a film festival. And EO was a very special film to see with a large festival audience. It is shattering the amount of abuse and love a donkey can handle in this story, a story that flows but is also idiosyncratic and dark. The celebration at the soccer game was enthralling; what followed that seemed like a fever dream. The trucker scene was amazing. The original owner was so sweet. It really is a film of great moments and I have it as sixth on my best of list.


 


November Films Seen in Theaters

Sex Worker Festival, The Menu

My wife and I attended a screening of shorts directed by sex workers. It was a charity screening. Most of the films were lightly amusing; some were a call to action. One involved a guy getting fisted. It was a nice afternoon. I took V to a great dinner afterward. On Thanksgiving, we watched The Menu. Aside from that I watched the new Dupieux film, Incredible But True. It was great fun but just missed the list.

It premiered on the Arrow streaming service. Quentin Tarantino loves the channel. He said so on The Video Archives Podcast. He is hit or miss as a director but an inspiring podcaster, hell of film analyst too. If you had told me that Cinema Speculation would be one of the year's better books while Bob Dylan's new book would be a rambling mess, I would not have believed you.


December Films Seen in a Theater

Cries and Whispers (1972), The Quintessential Quintuplets Movie, To the End, White Noise, Jack Frost (1997)


Mindcage I rented because it is a police procedural starring Martin Lawrence! They say great comedic actors can easily handle drama, but Martin Lawrence was never a great comedic actor. He is not the only problem here. The twist of this Silence of the Lambs knockoff is the problem. It has the most ridiculous ending since The Cobbler. The film ranks fifth on my worst of list and marks the second film in my bottom five directed by Mauro Borrelli. He does have a number of great credits as an art director though. 

A few years ago, VFW made my worst of the year list. But Joe Begos made a film this year that I saw on Shudder but wish I would have found playing in a crowded theater (Mad God played better in a theater than on Shudder). My ninth ranked best film Christmas Bloody Christmas is, for the first third, one of most sparkling will they or won't they films I have seen. It then becomes a different film, a Terminator knockoff that I enjoyed more than all but one of Terminator sequels. The film is a complete delight.

Another delight, a very touching film is Ralph Bader's doc about Dick Cavett's friendship with Groucho Marx, Groucho & Cavett. I like that Dick never fails to bring up Woody. I love the songs in this, some of them I have never heard, but mostly I like how brainy this film is. This film was emotional and ranks fifth on my list. I can be found on PBS.



Another delight, a very touching film is Ralph Bader's doc about Dick Cavett's friendship with Groucho Marx, Groucho & Cavett. I like that Dick never fails to bring up Woody. I love the songs in this, some of them I have never heard, but mostly I like how brainy this film is. This film was also truly emotional and ranks seventh on my list. It can be found on PBS. org



No Bears I caught up with early 2023 (This is an edit). I always make a point to see Jafar's films when they get to my local theater. This one is a horror film about old world custom. And of course has his legal troubles hanging all over it. It is a thing to behold and worth a four ranking on my best list.


Finally, December saw the release of this year's second best film. I sometimes sleep on anime even though The Night is Short, Walk on Girl and Weathering With You were amazing recent films. I had no intention of seeing The Quintessential Quintuplets Movie but the time worked out at the mall so my wife and I went. This is a very emotional film about five sisters who lost their mother young. Their step-father is a cold man but he hires them a (same age) tutor, Fuutaro, who had a bit of a troubled youth himself. After years of tutoring, all five girls are in love with Fuutaro and tell him to make a choice soon. If this set up sounds a bit creepy, the film knows it. And a choice is made that will offend no one. Each of the five girls have talents that propel them and issues that hold them back. The psychology at work in the film always feels fair and true. The film is a series of flashbacks in which Fuutaro had a defining moment with each of the girls. The Guardian called it "an elegantly hormonal Rashomon" One of the quints reminded me so much of my wife that I had tears of joy when he chose her. This is a romantic film but also insightful. It is about loss and renewal even the stepdad grows a bit. If all is right in the world, it will became a classic.




10 worst films of 2022

10. Hustle (117 mins) Jeremiah Zagar--director
09. What We Leave Behind (71 mins) Illiana Sosa--director
08. Tow (86 mins) Vanessa Alexander--director
07. The Reef: Stalked (93 mins) Andrew Traucki--director
06. Dark Night of the Scarecrow II (86 mins) JD Feigelson--director
05. Mindcage (96 mins) Mauro Borrelli--director
04. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (97 mins) Sophie Hyde--director
03. Warhunt (93 mins) Mauro Borelli--director
02. The Requin (89 mins) Le-Van Kiet--director
01. Me Time (101 mins) John Hamburg--director

10 best films of 2022

10. This Desolate Shore (8 mins) Chris Peters--director
09. Christmas Bloody Christmas (86 mins) Joe Begos--director
08.The Cursed (111 mins) Sean Ellis--director
07. Groucho & Cavett (81mins) Robert S Bader
06.  EO (86 mins) Jerzy Skolimowski--director
05. Elvis (159 mins) Baz Luhrmann--director
04. No Bears (106mins) Jafar Panahi
03. We're All Going to the World's Fair (86mins) Jane Schoenbrun--director
02. The Quintessential Quintuplets Movie (136 mins) Masato Jinbo--director
01. Rifkin's Festival (92mins) Woody Allen--director

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