My Wife and I Played A Game of Screen Drafts to Determine the Best Michael Haneke Films

My wife V and I are into some dark imagery. We watch enough spooky door cam videos to be happy have an upstairs condo. We both watch the bleakest horror films. I watch the bleakest art films. When I am feeling sad I can watch Amour (the one Haneke we skipped because we have been hit with some real life similar death recently and I did not think my wife would want to watch it) or 'Night Mother (1986) where Sissy Spacek spends the whole movie listing reasons for suicide to her mother. That's how I handle sadness. To clear her head, V can watch more gnarly true crime YouTube videos than I can stomach.

There was a revival screening of Funny Games (1997) last month. And halfway through, I whispered to V, don't tell me if you like this film or not. We are going to play a game. I thought we were both ready to tackle Michael Haneke's depressive and distinct filmography.  Before that screening I had only seen Amour & Funny Games (2007). V had only seen the latter. So we went from The 7th Continent to Happy End. We were both impressed by the quality of the films. To my mind, there was one film that was not good or great and two films that would place in my all time top 100! In some ways, these films are as dark as it gets. The game we decided to play was Screen Drafts.

A normal episode of the Screen Drafts is played with two people. It is a 7 film draft. Each Player gets a veto. And order is determined by trivia (related to the topic of film being debated, one recent episode involved train films). The winner of trivia can chose if they want more picks (7,6,4 and 2) or the number one pick (5, 3, and 1). Screen Drafts also has mega episodes and mini mega where far more than seven picks are drafted. and more than two people play.

I won trivia which was just a game of Cinema Six Degrees because our asking a friend to come up with Haneke questions seemed too complicated. I chose picks five, three and one because I had a strong opinion on number one.

V surprised me by picking the lighter side of Haneke with her six and seven.

07. The Castle (1997)

This was the one film I could take or leave. I found it really boring for the first twenty minutes and mildly amusing when it picked up steam. V found this Kafka adaptation wild and funny and gave Susanne Lothar (Funny Games) high marks in her role. She pointed out that the ending like the book is unfinished but reasoned that Haneke's films in general have a problem ending so she was not put off by this one. it was a bold choice so I chose not to veto.

6. Happy End (2017)

This might be the closest Haneke has been to a comedy since The Castle. I had this at five. It has a lot of his tropes, community issues, economic disparity, existential crises, but the tone is lighter. Fantine Hardum is a small miracle in this one. V really liked the scenes with her opposite the old patriarch.  

5. 71 Fragments of a Chronology of Chance (1994)

V and I were both touched by the young Romanian refugee, probably the character I cared most about in any of these films. We both had this film about the news cycle at four. I did not know how she felt about it, so I played it here.

4. Benny's Videos (1992)

First V tried to play The 7th Continent which I vetoed right off. It is my number one. She then played my number two. It was her number two as well. Arno Frisch. after this and Funny Games (1997) is a hell of an actor. And this film leads into that film marvelously. The animal death in the film is important and makes the showcase scene of the film that much more frightening. This is a scary film and one that hovers around the best I have ever seen.

3. Cache (2005)

I tried to play Funny Games (1997) here because it is the perfect three. It is groundbreaking and alive, but has a slight pacing issue. V found the film enthralling from start to finish though and even remarked it had the great ending among all these films. She vetoed that choice. So I had to chose from three films I felt good about but did not love The Piano Teacher, Cache and Time of the Wolf. I chose Cache though I wish I had picked Wolf for that iconic fire scene. My wife had this at nine and Wolf and ten, so she considers this a botched choice.

2. Funny Games (1997)

V wanted this at one and I have talked about it. I will just say that we both had the remake at last place and thought some of the performances in that film diminished its virtues.

1. The 7th Continent (1989)

This film is on point in every way. It perfectly captures life monotony. It is thrilling when it needs to be. The music is fitting. The imagery striking. This was number one the second it was over. V had it at three and admitted that the way they destroyed the money and lodgings was absolutely metal.