Final Destination and Texas Chainsaw Films Ranked (Screen Drafts Home Version 23)

Four of us played (Dennis, Scott, Nick and Vanessa) and Nick's friend Jessie was allowed one veto power in the game. This is a ranking game with vetoes and overrides based on the popular podcast Screen Drafts. Pick placement is usually decided by trivia but Nick had Jessie put a death card in a set of four cards and whoever picked it got to go first, then three, then two until the order placement was completely decided. Since these are two very different franchises (9 Texas Chainsaw films) (6 Final Destination films, a themed music video and a Final Destination Novel), I will put how each one ranked within their series first then mention how they ranked in the list of 17 overall.

The Final Destination Franchise

8. Final Destination Novel: If Looks Could Kill (2005)

Scott played this at 16 overall, but it was the lowest franchise entry. He could not get past page fifteen and read a few bits of purple prose (as the kids say). A group of high fashioned models cheat death due to a premonition. One of the models ends up disfigured and is given the chance (by death) to make sure her group gets what is coming to them. Some of us appreciated that this novel tried to explain some concepts that the franchise never covered. But the explanations were not particularly clever or satisfying for any of us and no veto was offered.

7. Final Destination (2000)

I played this here, at number 14 overall, after my attempt to play part 5 was vetoed by Jessie. Part 5 was her favorite in the franchise. I ranked it low because of the actors. I found Devon Sawa did not have the emotional depth for the part, and his character never seemed to do anything except seem suspicious. I also found SW Scott terrible in his early role. No one fought me on this. The biggest complaints were that the deaths were done better later and the effects aged terribly. Much was made about the blue water having a life of its own. 

6. Final Destination 5 (2011)

This was my least favorite in the franchise and Vanessa played it at eleven overall. She sighted the acting and some of the dumber kills. I think we all felt that the Tom Cruise lookalike (Miles Fisher) was particularly terrible in this film. Nick staned the gymnast scene, but no more vetoes were offered.

5. The Final Destination (2009)

Nick played this at 9 overall. It got vetoed by Scott, but I used an override, and it stayed. Nick felt that NASCAR was not a good enough hook because the other films traded on actual fears for their opening death extravaganzas. And NASCAR isn't something one is afraid to attend. I gave it some grace because people look for crashes at these events, so it made a compelling opening to me. He also found the acting porny or corny even and some of the deaths (like the pool sequence) kind of dumb. He did not like the movie theater sequence because it killed many others in addition to the protags. No real objections were met here, except by Scott who liked the racist getting his death and had a good deal of fun with this one overall.

4. "New Romance" Miles Fisher (2011)

Somehow this four minute music video performed by Miles Fisher made it all the way to seven on the total list when Vanessa finally played it. I think we all just forgot about this item that features most the cast of five in a Saved by the Bell/Final Destination parody.

3. Final Destination: Bloodlines (2025)

I played this at six overall. I think Vanessa wanted to veto,  but read the room and the overrides. This has the best kills and is the most impressively mounted production. But the way it treats generational death is wonky. My problem is no one asks, "So I wasn't supposed to be born?" Nothing about how this family that isn't supposed to exist might have effected the lives of others is mentioned. It just feels kind of silly. Tony Todd is very good in it, but his presence suggests earlier films were wrong in making him Death. Nick commented that the film would have been better if it took place after the high rise fell.

2. Final Destination 3 (2006)

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is so good in this that she elevates every other actor in the film, even making a potential love interest of someone that seemed unlikely in the beginning of the film. This also has my favorite scene in the franchise, the tanning bed to coffin scene. Scott played this at 4 overall which is more than respectable, but the only real issue anyone had with it was the aged effects.

1. Final Destination 2 (2003)

I think the big draw of this one is the log truck sequence. We all discussed the lasting legacy of that. I played this at number two overall. I think the group dynamics in this one are solid, and the death of the lottery winner is really quite good. We all liked this one, so that may be its biggest tribute is that no one was sad it was the highest ranked in the franchise because everyone had it at least near the top.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Franchise

9. Leatherface (2017)

Nick played this dead last. The problem that we all had is that a seemingly intelligent, good looking man becomes Leatherface, and it's a choice made only to throw off the audience. Nick found too much of the film strayed to far from the franchise. He liked the diner scene. I had this ranked a good deal higher because I felt the hospital stuff was oppressive and I liked the Bonnie and Clyde element. We all agreed that the high profile actors in this bring nothing to the table.

8. Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Vanessa played this one at 15 overall. She just did not find it memorable, and we all agreed with that. The only reason to view this is to see how beautiful Alexandra Daddario is. It is also the last franchise film featuring Hansen and Burns, but they aren't given anything to do.

7. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Nick tried to play the 2022 version. It was vetoed by Scott. So he played this at number 13 overall. He found the choices made that deviate from the original (the suicidal hitchhiker for instance) to be much lesser choices that stall the story. He also did not love the look of the film (which I described as very Rob Zombie) but appreciated the bloodshed. Scott loved this movie but agreed it needs to be watched with its prequel to get the full impact.

6. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

Scott played part 2 at number 12 overall. He found Choptop at the screaming a little too annoying. He tried to play TCM The Next Generation, but he was vetoed by me. I do like this film a lot. I love Dennis Hopper and some of the lines, "Oh my aching banana." But I think too much time is spent in that amusement park area. V liked the film and almost vetoed. Along with Nick, she appreciated Stretch quite a bit as a female heroine and both loved the final shots in the film.

5. Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

I played this at 10 overall. It is my least favorite in the franchise. I don't need a Leatherface who can fuck, or even one that can spell for that matter. Mostly, I just hate how dark the film is (and I mean in terms of I cannot see half the film, and I have a fine television). It makes the car crash stuff hard to track. Others liked Viggo in this, liked the gold chainsaw, liked Foree, but no veto was offered.

4. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

This is another one Scott maybe found too hectic and played it at eight overall. He also hated the Illuminati. We all agreed that Zellweger is a great final girl and can run like Tom Cruise. I had this as my second favorite film of the game and Nick liked it a lot as well. V was more reserved in her affection, but we all liked it. McConaughey gives his all. His character gets a girlfriend and a remote control leg. The Illuminati are meant to represent the franchise apologizing for previous sequels (This was written by the co-writer of the original) and killing off nearly all the characters. Leatherface has Divine energy. Zellweger's character is a sexual abuse survivor fighting back. There are scenes in this that are so unrelenting they play like August Underground. What is not to like?

3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

Nick played this at five overall. He liked that the characters had no chance for survival. It made them easier to feel empathy for. He liked the scene with the old ladies at the table talking. We all liked R Lee Emory and the next level violence. This is the most economically minded of the films (arguably more than the most recent one) with the dying town and dying slaughter house. It is a film full of grime, and we were all here for it.

2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Vanessa played Final Destination 2 at 3 so this could be 2, but it was vetoed by Nick who actually did not like this movie at all, but was graceful enough to let us move it up the list. Elsie Fisher, as a school shooting survivor here, is one of my favorite actresses, so I was delighted it made it to three. Nick's problems, he felt the bus massacre was shot in an uninteresting way. He thought this was the worst looking Leatherface, and he found the gen z dialog to be pure dog water. He also did not like the way Sally went out. My theory on Sally is that she is played as a parody of the JL Curtis return in Halloween. She adds nothing to the story as LF does not even remember her, unlike Laurie in Halloween. All of us enjoyed the dead sunflower sequence and at least the beginning of the bus scene. "You are gonna get cancelled bro." Vanessa really liked the sister relationship and was somewhat gutted when the older sister died.

1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

I was worried that this would not be number one overall. I need not have worried. Everyone in our group loves this film. The hitchhiker is one of my all time favorite characters. He seems like an escapee of the Manson family. Vanessa talked about the less is more approach to the film, and how Franklin is somewhat annoying but, Scott pointed out, just a guy who wants more agency. This is a perfect film.